Holden loves his baths
First day of Church

Second day home...mom has already started with the picts

The Miracle of Baby Holden...

Up and down the stairs in front of the University was the event of my day for a whole week prior to Holden's arrival. I was desperate for him to come due to being rather uncomfortable as well as just pure excitement of finally meeting my son for the first time. I wanted to have a vaginal birth and not be induced, but we did set a date to be induced on the 3rd, two days after my due date. It came down to that...we had to decide if that is what we wanted. I really wanted him to come on his own, but I had heard of still births due to waiting too long. So we decided to go in. We were excited but also very nervous. I was so close to my dream coming true, holding my baby in my arms, both of us proud parents of our little miracle fresh from Heaven. My dream did come true, but in a different manner than I had played out in my head my entire life. After the doctor broke my water, complications arose. I heard the horrible sound of the baby's heart rate dropping. The doctor and nurse responded quickly, placing an oxygen mask on me and rolling me onto my side. I began to feel guilty, thinking that it was my fault that I had chosen to get induced. I prayed really hard in my head and surprisingly stayed calm, feeling the comfort of my Heavenly Father. The heart rate finally went back up, but our trial was far from being over. After five minutes, the heart rate dropped again. The doctor made the decision to do an emergency C-section, advising that we needed to get the baby out. He said that if the heart rate did not go back up again before we reached the operating room, they were going to have to put me out. As I was being wheeled down to the operating room I kept praying over and over in my head that it would be ok and that I would be awake for the surgery. Luckily, the heart rate rose again, giving the doctors a little cushion. Suddenly there were ten people in the room. I remember my body shaking pretty bad from adrenaline. All the doctors and nurses introduced themselves to me and the role they played in the surgery. Usually patients receive a "spinal" sitting up, but because of circumstances, the anesthesiologist was told he needed to give me one laying down, something he was not very practiced at. It took him four tries before he was able to numb me. He told Trevor that he didn't have very many tries left before they would just have to put me out. I could no longer feel my legs, but because they would soon be slicing me open, I thought it wise to feel my stomach to make sure it was numb. Bad idea. It turns out that you are not suppose to touch an area that they have already sterilized, so they had to re-do everything. It was quite a weird sensation feeling them tugging on things during the surgery, but not feeling any pain. They had the baby out in under five minutes. Trev turned to me and said, "he's cute! and then "He has hair". I looked over to get a sneak peak before everyone surrounded him. He was absolutely beautiful and I suddenly felt so excited again that I might be able to hold him soon. My thoughts were instantly ignored as I started to feel nauseous and began dry heaving. The anesthesiologist said he was going to give me some medicine to help, but it turns out he grabbed the wrong medicine. Instead of the nausea medicine, he gave me an extra dose of blood pressure medicine. I felt so sick...My head felt like it was in a meat grinder and I couldn't focus on anything. I worried I might die so I started yelling for help. Meanwhile, things were not going to well with our son. He was quite pasty and his blood gas levels were really low. The pediatrician and nurses took him away and after they finished sewing me up, we just waited (with my head pounding) in the recovery room. A nurse came in and said they were going to life flight our baby to McDee Hospital. This message brought out the seriousness of the situation. The pediatrician admitted to us later that he was in over his head and that it would take a miracle for Holden to make it. We began to get a little emotional. Trevor and his dad got to give Holden a blessing before Life Fight took him. It was such a heart felt and beautiful blessing given by his dad as he touched his son for the first time. After the blessing, his levels started rising again.

For the next 3 days Trevor was in Ogden and I was in Logan. We spent our anniversary at two different places. The doctors put Holden on a cooling cap to slow down the swelling to the brain due to the lack of oxygen. He was sedated for these three days, but began having small seizures and episodes where he would stop breathing. I kept thinking that all of this would be over soon and that we just had to go through this. Trevor and the baby formed quite the bond in those three days. I was so thankful Trevor was there with him. When they took the cooling cap off, he began to improve quite rapidly. In fact the very next day, I was able to hold him, as well as breast feed him. It was such an amazing and long awaited moment. He spent a total of 9 days in the NICU. They had never seen a baby recover that quickly off the cooling cap. We are so grateful for the nurses that were there to watch over him. He had a nurse assigned to him only each day. We are also thankful for technology. The cooling cap has only been around for the last five years. We were told that if they had not had that, Holden might never be able to walk or talk. We have learned so much from this experience and love having him home with us. We feel entirely blessed and even in those trying times as a parent when Holden is screaming in the middle of the night, this cry is only a reminder that this miracle baby is with us. We love him so much!

In the NICU after they took off the cooling cap.
Poor little guy was poked and tampered with right away.
Excited and nervous as we begin the labor process, arriving at the hospital to be induced on the 3rd of May at 11:00 AM
Waiting patiently for our little guy to arrive...we decided to get some pregnancy shots. Thanks Anna!